But, Mommy, I'm Scared. . .

It's hard to hear your child call out in the middle of the night, especially when, "But, Mommy, I'm scared. . ." follows their cries.

Have you tried the Sleep Fairy?

If you haven't tried the Sleep Fairy box, give that a whirl. If you have and it hasn't worked, then institute some Sleep Fairy Props.

1) Give your child a wand. This wand can be homemade or purchased. Either way, this is something your child can wave at whatever is scaring him or her to make it "go away".

2) Sprinkle Sleep Fairy dust before bed to keep away whatever your child fears (shadows, monsters, etc.).

3) Or spray Magic Sleep Fairy Spray (a spray bottle filled with water and lavender (or other scent) oil) around the room.

4) Get a Sleep Fairy Doll. Any doll with wings will do. Allow your child to sleep with this doll to ward off bad dreams or whatever is causing the fear.

Sleeping All Night Long

So, your little one refuses to stay in their bed all night long. This is not the child who occasionally has a nightmare or isn't feeling well and needs extra soothing.

This is the child that repeatedly gets up in the middle of the night, wanting your attention, and trying to leave their room (or insisting you come into their room if they have been constrained to their room).

I want to be very clear. If you do not mind that your child joins you in the middle of the night, then live and let live. If it works for you and your family, then sleeping together as a family can be a very bonding experience.

However, a very common complaint that I hear from my friends about their young children is that they join them in their bed or call for them in the middle of the night, and they do not want that to continue. This is what I came up with and it has worked well in the children that it has been road tested on.

The Sleep Fairy isn't a novel idea, really. It combines several ideas that I found around the internet when researching sleep habits. It also relies heavily on things that my own parents used to do with me when I was young.

Without further ado, here is the Sleep Fairy's Guide To Staying In Bed All Night Long.

The premise of the sleep fairy is that she leaves a present for a child that stays asleep all night in their own bed. Like Santa Claus, the sleep fairy is always watching and KNOWS when a child hasn't slept through the night. The sleep fairy will only leave a present if your child stays in his or her own bed all night long. You can choose whether that includes you having to come into his room and comfort him or not. If you want to go hardcore, then the Sleep Fairy only leaves presents if your child stays in bed all night long AND doesn't cry for mommy and/or daddy.

Step One:

Make your very own Sleep Fairy box (picture coming soon!). It can be any box, but large enough to fit "presents" in it. A shoe box is a great size.

Decorate the box with old wrapping paper, stickers, glitter glue, streamers, ribbons, you name it. Make this a project with your child. Put SLEEP FAIRY BOX on it in big letters.

Step Two:

Put the box out of your child's reach, but someplace where they can see it last thing at night and first thing in the morning. Show them the empty box right before bedtime and remind them that if she or he sleeps all night long in their own bed, the sleep fairy will leave them a present in the box. You can elaborate about this part as much or as little as you want. Some kids need to keep things really simple. Others want to know more details such as what the Sleep Fairy looks like, where she lives, how she travels to your house, etc. You know your kid best, so be prepared for answering these questions if you anticipate them coming.

Step Three:

After your child is asleep, put that day's present in the box. If he or she gets up at all at night (exception: using the bathroom or some other NEED to leave his bed) or comes into your room (or if you are going hardcore, then if you have to come into his room), you'll have to wait until they are asleep again to remove the present.

Step Four:

If your child slept in his or her own bed all night, then hand them the box and let them discover his treat for the day. Make a very big deal about how exciting it is that they slept all night through and gets a special present from the Sleep Fairy.

If your child did not sleep in his or her own bed all night, then hand them the box and let them see that it is empty (if you didn't get a chance to remove the present before this, then distract them and remove the present). Tell them, "Uh-oh, no treat today, but ypu can try again tonight!" Try to be as positive and upbeat as possible about the opportunity to sleep through the night tonight.

Ideas for Sleep Fairy Presents:

Sleep Fairy presents shouldn't cost a lot of money. They shouldn't be extravagant. A small, inexpensive toy, a small package of candy, stickers, a new toothbrush, a Happy Meal Toy, a box of crayons, a small book, etc. The dollar store would be a great place to shop for Sleep Fairy presents. Another good idea for the Sleep Fairy is to take pictures of your child doing things they enjoys, like going to the library or playing at the park, and put the picture in the box to show that day's treat will be going to do that activity. The present could even be a note from the Sleep Fairy, telling your child how proud she is of him or her for sleeping through the night in their own bed.

Phasing Out the Sleep Fairy

Once your child is sleeping regularly through the night in his own bed, tell them that another friend is having trouble sleeping through the night and ask if he'd like to give his Sleep Fairy Box to that child.

-AND/OR-

Have the Sleep Fairy send your child a letter that now that he is a big boy or girl, he or she doesn't need presents every day, but that every once in awhile, the Sleep Fairy will check on them to make sure that they are still sleeping well. Then, scale down how often the treats are in the box. Don't check it every day, but instead on days that you did leave a present say something like, "Oh, I think I heard the Sleep Fairy last night, should we check to see if she left a gift?" Do it every few days, then once a week, then biweekly, then whenever you feel like it or if you notice that bad sleep patterns are starting again, until it isn't something your child seems to ask about any more.

Not Quite Working?

Some kids are more resistant than others. It also might take a night of getting a present and a night of not getting one before they get the idea. Try for three or four nights and if you are not seeing improvement, try putting some sequins or glitter down around the box and in a few other places in his room. Tell your child that this is Sleep Fairy Dust and proves she was there and started to leave the gift, but then they woke up and she had to go.

-AND/OR-

Try having your own Sleep Fairy box and make a big deal about you getting your own Sleep Fairy presents. One of my friends has a three year old and a nine month old and gave both of her girls a Sleep Fairy box. Every morning, the nine month old would get a present, and it only took that happening once to get her three year old on board.

Have you tried the Sleep Fairy? How did it go? Suggestions for others?

Who Is the Sleep Fairy?

The Sleep Fairy lives in the Land of Nod. She is a magical fairy who watches over all children while they sleep. Sometimes, it comes to her attention that a certain boy or girl needs help sleeping and when that happens, she will come to visit.

The Sleep Fairy has several different functions.

She can help settle a child that is having difficulty falling a sleep.

She can help soothe a child who is scared of the dark/monsters/shadows/[insert child's fear here].

The Sleep Fairy has helped many boys and girls stay in their bed all night long.

The Sleep Fairy will largely rely on your imagination to be what your child needs to sleep better. But you can find guidelines for implementing your own Sleep Fairy here.

Good luck and happy sleeping!